once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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