i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
