upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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