I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
