RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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