what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
