Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
