I wish I only lived at night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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