I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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