I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
