Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
