So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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