i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
