So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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