He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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