no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
