i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
