Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
