Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
