piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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