I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Randomize
