I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
