I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
