i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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