He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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