My room smells like vodka and shame
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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