No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
