you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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