so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
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It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
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Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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