When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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