So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
