We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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