last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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