I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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