Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you never un-have a 4some
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
