How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
