i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
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The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
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Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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