Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
