Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So many bounce houses so little time
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
