doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
