i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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