There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
