just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
