i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize