Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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