Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
