She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
