were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize