I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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