We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
