Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
