3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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