Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
