Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I could fuck to npr.
Sorry about my life...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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