Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
