I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
