college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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