If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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