rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
