i barfeds in our rink
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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