Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
