1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
